Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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