walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
