I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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