when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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