I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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