I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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