Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
