hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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