I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
