Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
