but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
