I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
