That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
God, I missed his penis.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
