I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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