i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
