lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
