What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
