turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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