hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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