ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Screwed.edu
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
