Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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