Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
