Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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