so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
