Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm both gender and math confused
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
