Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
