why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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