rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
