that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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