i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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