He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
