ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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