K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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