Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
