I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
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You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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