I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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