all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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