Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
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