**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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