Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
