oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
