very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
