apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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