did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
