I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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