it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
