Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
