The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize