grandma shit on top of the toilet
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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