that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What drink are we having for lunch?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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