just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
