You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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