DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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