you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
