never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
