I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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