I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize