He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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