I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
