the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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