Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
